One Magnificent morning lily and harmony decided to go on a trip to Pig island as lily and harmony got ready in their gear. Lily had forgotten to put the gas in the tank "this should be enough gas to get to pig island" said Lily.
As soon as we left the plane started to make squeaky noises they thought it was just a little plaything. So they left. Suddenly harmony fell asleep halfway there. Lily hears the engine turning off “ oh no harmony get up the plane is about to crash!” Lily shouted. They put on parachutes and jumped out and the plane crashed. Lily and Harmony had no idea where they were. Lily and harmony freaked out Harmony had forgotten the satellite phone and the flare gun.
Suddenly it had lasted 5 days on that unknown island with no food or drinks to have. " This is my fault if I should have put the gas in" Lily sobbed. " Hey it's alright everybody makes mistakes we just got to make a plan to get off this creepy island" Harmony declared. As they slept through the night, Harmony had nightmares. She woke up with a big shock. She woke up Lily and said to her that she had a plan to get them out of that island and they decided to wait for the next morning.
When Lily woke up they ran straight to the water and grabbed some seaweed and rocks Harmony has said: " Lets right help with the seaweed" "Sure let's do it" Lily said. that night they had fallen asleep and woke up with a big flashing light upon their faces. They woke up. It was a helicopter they waived and waved and a ladder came down. We climbed up and were rescued; they were so relieved to get out of that unknown island.
As soon as they got back they both went to Harmony's house. They had a cup of milo and ate a lot of food. Later harmony went for a bath and suddenly Lily was sleeping in the lounge plus after that Harmony finished her bath and went for a nap.
next time You can use dialogue
ReplyDeletenice detail but need dialogue
ReplyDeleteThis story has Punctuation in the correct places
ReplyDeleteI love the little details you have got here Senitila, for example that they forgot the satelite phone and flare gun. I'm very impressed you know what those are! I didn't even put those in my own story! Great punctuation as well, love that you have used ; : and speech marks correctly.
ReplyDeleteThis story has good punctuation and detail but next time maybe add some dialogue
ReplyDelete